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What Should You Do If You’re a Domestic Violence Perpetrator?

How many of us can say that we’ve made mistakes? One of the things that all people experience is making mistakes. People are not perfect, so it’s inevitable that at some point, we mess up.

What do you do if you make a mistake that hurts others?

Domestic abuse is a serious matter. The label of domestic violence perpetrator carries many negative implications. People that know you will look at you differently, even possibly fear you.

Being a perpetrator of abuse doesn’t have to define you for the rest of your life. If you realize that you need help, you’ve already taken the first step towards becoming a better person. Here’s how to go about that process.

Accept That You Have a Problem

There are no excuses that justify domestic violence. If you’ve committed acts of abuse, accept that you have a problem and you need help. The path to healing for almost all psychological issues begins with acknowledging there is a problem. 

When we recognize there is a problem, we open ourselves up to accepting help. Navigating these issues on your own is next to impossible. The support of a community can make all the difference when seeking help. 

Stop Repeating the Actions of a Domestic Violence Perpetrator

If you can’t do this, then the best course of action is to remove yourself from the situation where abuse occurs. You will need to move out of your home and find elsewhere to stay. Not only is this for your benefit, but it also benefits your significant other and children as well.

Being an abuser does not mean that you don’t love your family. By removing yourself from your home, you show them that you do love them. Judges presiding over domestic abuse cases may also be more lenient if you take the initiative and move out. 

If you are going through a domestic violence lawsuit, see more here to learn how to get an attorney.  

Be Proactive

It’s admirable that you want to seek help and change your behavior. However, the best time to express that isn’t when emotions are running high from a fresh outburst of abuse or violence. 

The best time to bring this up is when things are calm. You and the people affected by your abuse will have a better time reaching a mutual understanding. Discussing abuse is tough enough, but it makes it even harder if the victims are reeling from a recent outburst. 

Put in the Effort to Change

Changing long-term patterns of behavior does not happen overnight. It takes months of hard work and dedication. 

There will be times when you want to give up, become frustrated, and exhausted. You need to push through and continue to work at becoming a better person.

Keep Up With Stuff Important to You

The road from domestic violence perpetrator to a better person is long. Once you admit you need help, you can begin taking the first steps towards becoming a better person. Be intentional about your change, be persistent, and adopt healthier behaviors to help you thrive.

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